Warning: May cause social suicide!
Have you been itching to wear your old grandmother's sweaters?, Have invested in a drawer full of Ray Bans or recently named your cat after your favorite Disney movie character? Then, you are one of the many people that have caught this hideous disease known as the Hipster Plague! Hipster Plague is known world-wide and commonly found in large cities. The side effects have now become heinous and possibly permenate. You will notice that the first stages of its illness once one has drawn triangles on everything they own, use quotes as meaningful dialog, buy a retro camera that they known they'll never use, change their ringtone to Mumford & Son and post on their self-published blog about the next Passion Pit show.
If one has reached to stage 2 of this rapidly growing disease then they should go seek emergency help by family and loved ones before it's too late. In stage 2, you'll start to think that you need glasses to think clearly, if it gets to this point there may not be any hope of returning back. Just remember that the stripes molding on your arms is a normal but severer effect and can be disguise as a plaid shirt at least. When getting ready for the day, one hipster might feel a bit ooze and step back into a 1953's flash back as they would soon start to rapidly flick their hair into a dapper men's flock and style their mustache into a stylish curl. After having a look in the mirror, a hipster might choose a tacky bow-tie to match their pointless tattoos.
Do I dear type the last stage of becoming a Hipster?
Just thinking about it makes me cringe!
Stage 3: The plague will make you want to change your social life. by this point, you'll start to question people about random facts that you looked up an hour before leaving to meet up with your cardigan and book bag wearing friends. Where you'll judge everything and everyone on high ratings of being original or interesting. Just when you think you have found a common cure known as pizza, you'll rush your way into a pizza parlor and find it to be a underground speak-easy dance club for hipsters. Hipsters feel it's important to wear high waisted flirty skirts to show their groovy mating moves from the 50's and we all know it doesn't end well with a new generation of hipster babies. So, do yourself a favor and save yourself while you can! Avoid poetry clubs, asian teen malls, pubs "you probably never heard of", over priced frozen yogurt shops, coffee shops that offer eco-friendly biodegradable cups and stay away from the sweater loving freaky girls that raise triangle signs up in a crowd of people at a indie show that they secretly don't listen to. Those who find these girls attractive haven't been seen again accept for one survivor who was found tied up in a closet at a urban outfitters outlet store with a spoon full of Nutella shoved in his mouth while wearing a vintage cat print sweater, Ray Bans and knee high socks. Please try not to end up like this young fellow, Avoid the plague at all cost for there is no return!